Jake Gyllenhaal terrifies me now because of Nightcrawler

Seriously. I went into this film knowing virtually nothing. What I was told was; Jake Gyllenhaal is an unemployed rake in L.A. who somehow stumbles into the realm of freelance Crime Journalism.

This is of course what happens, but nobody told me how Amazing Gyllenhaal is in the film. I used the word rake two lines up. That was deliberate. the man looks like he has done literally nothing but lie down and smoke cigarettes for a year.

End of watch was the last film I saw him in, and he wasn’t exactly a hulk back then, but he had muscles and looked as though he had eaten in the last four days. In Nightcrawler he is almost skeletal, the transformation is staggering. He has lost everything. But what amazed me most was the performance he put in. It’s truly harrowing at times.

At the very start of the film he is shown to be a petty crook, a swindler, and a witty, tenacious salesman.  From this he evolves into a Nightcrawler; which is essentially a cameraman roaming the streets poking his nose into police affairs and selling the footage to the highest bidder.

When Lou (Gyllenhaal, I forgot to mention) hires his intern Rick, It’s through the conversations they share, we see the subtleties of his not-quite-rightness. Of course this can be credited to both the screenplay and the direction of Dan Gilroy, who has truly put together a remarkable film, but the credit really goes to Jakey boy. His posture is hunched and the mannerisms he has developed  will leave you wondering how far along the autistic spectrum he’s decided his character is.

As you progress further into the film it goes way beyond that and you’re left having much more concerned thoughts about Lou. Believe me, you will be scared and uncomfortable

Back to Gilroy’s directing however; It is  a strong film, but I can’t help remark that the most attractive shot of the whole film is actually on Lou’s Viewfinder. Considering it’s a film set in L.A. you actually don’t see very much of it, but it does make the film feel very intimate. perhaps a deliberate move. The editing is fine throughout, but certain music choices feel really weird and cheesey, it pulls you right out of the immersion that every other part of the film has worked hard to achieve.

Renee Russo is also in the film as His colleague / Love victim. (His way of chatting up women is practically criminal) Honestly I didn’t really even register that it was Russo in the film She looks a hell of a lot different, But as a cold, story hungry boss lady. she’s fantastic.

The story is intriguing, if not ever so slightly predictable in parts.

The cast are perfect.

Jake Gyllenhaal is another man completely, and I couldn’t be more impressed

The film overall, is pretty solid, immersive and will leave you very, very shocked.

Watch it.

22 Flump Street

Forgive the awful title of this review but I am feeling somewhat disenfranchised.
If you read my last review on the Age of Ultron  you’ll know that I am quite critical of trailers… Now.

I Should have been critical of the trailer for this film, seeing Channing Tatum do his very finest Borat impression whilst standing next to Jonah Chavez didn’t really impress me much at the time, so why didn’t I tell myself “Don’t bother, it’s a sequel it’ll be shit.”

So your first film was good, but have you still got the touch?

The answer sadly is no.

The film has sadly become a parody of itself and no amount of jokes (lots) that even recognise this fact can make recompense.

21 jump street left some very large shoes to fill and this film needs about 6 sets of insoles.

The formula is exactly the same, except this time the boys have been sent to college, obviously.
I feel I could end here quite happily.

“infiltrate the dealer, find the supplier” Says Ice Cube, whose office, according to channing Tatum is actually a cube of ice. That, admittedly was funny, and don’t get me wrong there are funny bits throughout. The montage where they first enter their new collegiate realm and reveal to us all the things that will proove to their new peers that they are true to life fake college adults was pretty swell indeed.

Throughout the film however, they are constantly being berated for their aged visages, but I don’t find that running gag all that funny as to be honest they both look like kids still, perhaps if Mel Gibson and Danny Glover we’re playing the roles instead this would make sense.

The plot as I said before is essentially the same, the love interest of Jonah hill this time feels a little more thought out and well developed and does lead to a surprising climax in which Channing Tatum takes Great pleasure of ripping Jonah Hill to absolute pieces,

As you will have seen in the Trailer the Dave Franko and Ron Riggle reprise their roles… In jail. Many jokes about Mr Walters being Eric’s Bitch.

None of which are funny.

Even the scene where Schmidt gets face hugged by an octopus left me feeling very little, and that’s saying something considering that is literally my greatest fear.

At the end of the film the trailers role with movie posters highlighting the future plots of 56 jump Street and so on.

It goes on for a for a long time, I hope to god this franchise doesn’t. Overall the return of Schmidt and Jenko was an extremely average effort. The first film was triumph, something fresh in a sea of couples comedies. This was stale. Watch the first one again, save yourself the disappointment. You have been warned.

Avengers : The Age of Ultron. Yeah? And..?

Is it just me or were you left feeling a little underwhelmed?

Joss Wheden is still in the chair, great…
Marc Ruffalo still goes fully green, great…

Then there’s the new characters and I’m not so sure.

The scarlet witch (who I know virtually nothing about) and quicksilver who I know slightly more but still very little about are our guest appearances for our mornings “OMGATRAYLERR” entertainment. I’m like a level one comic book nerd, I know a fair amount but not enough to really bro down and throw punches against the elitists, that being said these guys are certified avengers, they are also the kids of magneto (cameo anyone?) I just get the impression these are two kids who got caught up in a mess, they’ll no doubt contribute in some magical way but to me at the moment they just feel thrown in.

Let’s move on to the baddie shall we? He’s a robot, I think, with lots of robots. It kinda feels like Iron man 3.5 to me.

The locales don’t seem as impressive, in fact nothing does, the trailer indicates we’re going dark, á la Thor : The Dark World (which I enjoyed immensely don’t get me wrong). It’s going to be gritty and desolate, but this is a sequel, and being a sequel it’s gotta top the first and I’m failing to see how it can do that without an expansive backdrop such as I don’t know… Manhattan?

We’re talking the avengers here. You gotta go big man,

The biggest thing I saw was the hulk buster armor, which for the true fans I say hooray!
But for the average Joe I just can’t see it being enough to one up the hulk punching a flying alien metal worm snake in the face.

Thor topless in water for the ladies, and Captain America’s shield split in half, one to intrigue me.

I’m not impressed.

Yet.

Goon (or as I’ve Affectionately named it Doug.)

Is like Fight Club (yes you’ve heard that one before) on ice.

But slightly brain damaged.

Doug is the sweetest guy ever, he was also a brick shit house bouncer that could pull your head off for about 5 minutes at the very start of the film. Sean William Scott had put on a fair bit of weight for the role and with a fairly meaty beard he looks the part and plays it pretty damn well too. I’d find it hard to imagine that stifler could bludgeon anybody the way Doug goes, which goes to show that Scott has moved in a different direction, which is good.

The way Doug gets into Ice hockey is perfect. It’s just ridiculous enough for you to almost believe it to be true. I’m not telling you, just enjoy it for yourself.

A small clue is that Doug’s brother is the foul mouthed host of a local Hockey news show thing, whatever you want to call it.

Doug, from the outset of his puck slinging career is told not to actually sling pucks. He is purely there to beat the living crap out any body.

This happens a lot. I must say, it is cathartic, obviously there’s a love interest and she gets him in trouble, and she’s tortured blah blah blah. I’m sorry but I find no place for romance in a film with this much blood.
i appreciate that it is part of this new Roganesque era of comedy we’re in, and that’s cool. but this can totally be ripped out of the script.

Doug’s main competitor in the rink and the man he must defeat is Ross Rhea, (Liev Shreiber)  Sabretooth does a pretty good job and punching the shit out of people, so does Doug.

Conflict.

END.

I appreciate this film is not new, I appreciate that it is not a Oscar winner.

But I didn’t even know about it until this week, and maybe you didn’t either.Now that you do, you should watch it. because it’s brutal and hilarious.

So… the Family Guy and The Simpsons crossover

Was as we all expected, a flaming ball of excrement. I will keep this brief, as not much can, and not much needs to be said.

The premise was exciting, this is true but it was doomed to fail from the start, the show from the outset even recognises this (one of the few half decent jokes cracked).

The execution was just a failure. The animation was fine, although it did make The Simpsons regress to a time before they drew shadows, and standing the two families together gave one faction in particular a very noticeable case of jaundice. This can’t be help obviously but it is just super weird.

It was the writing. The narrative got off to a good start and the set up was genuinely fantastic and it was looking like a pretty good episode of family guy was about to be enjoyed but then The Simpsons came in and the remaining 15 minutes was just a concentration  of catch phrases and characters doing things that make them who they are.

Lisa Simpson playing a saxophone, ooh please, more!

An actual story would have just been a treat is all I’m saying.

And oh god, the fight.

Enough with the hour long fights.